Comedian Jerry Seinfeld’s new book, Is This Anything?, is a compilation of his best stand-up comedy. Spanning five decades, Seinfeld’s observational material has covered everything from bumper cars and cotton balls to Facebook and COVID-19.
Through each decade of jokes, Is This Anything? not only chronicles Seinfeld’s career as a comedian, but also his transition from a bachelor in the 1970s delivering jokes about having kids
I’d like to have a family someday.
Although it’s hard to imagine being the head of the household
when my life at this point consists mostly of wandering around my apartment, kicking underwear up in the air and trying to catch it.
to a husband and father navigating married life in the post-social media age of the 2010s:
Marriage is a beautiful thing.
Full of fascinating moments.
I actually saw this the other day.
Husband in the car.
Wife on the street.
He’s picking her up after work.
And he did not bring the car to a full and complete stop for her to get in.
She had the car door open.
She was hopping with one foot,
trying to get some kind of leverage on the armrest of the door.
You can only get one foot in a moving car.
One can only imagine the spirited exchange of ideas
that took place inside that car the rest of the drive home.
But that’s what marriage is.
It’s two people.
That’s it.
Trying to stay together,
without saying the words “I hate you.”
Which you are not allowed to say.
Don’t say that.
You can feel it.
That’s okay.
Just don’t let it come out.
Say something else.
Anything.
Say, “Why is there never any Scotch tape in this god damn house?”
“Scotch” is “I.”
“Tape” is “hate.”
“House” is “you.”
But it’s better.
It’s better to say,
“You know, no normal human being leaves a bathroom floor that wet.”
Than,
“You’re stubbing out my soul like a cigarette butt.”
You just don’t say, “I could kill you right now.”
You say,
“You’re so funny sometimes.”
Seinfeld’s Is This Anything? offers some much needed comic relief in a year full of conflict and instability. And although some of the jokes don’t translate to text as well as others, it’s great to have them all in one place.
